May302013

I guess I’ll just  go away until tumblr savior decides to start working again.

8AM

mandatoryupgrades:

Anyone who thinks Shakespeare is boring apparently missed the greatest stage direction ever written:

image

I want that to be the final line of my biography.

(via yeahwriters)

7AM
7AM
runandhideinanothermind:

revisitnormal:

ramirezbundydahmer:

Famous Last Words:


Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose. - Queen Marie Antoinette after she accidentally stepped on the foot of her executioner as she went to the guillotine.
I can’t sleep. - J. M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan
I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis. - Humphrey Bogart
I am about to — or I am going to — die: either expression is correct. - Dominique Bouhours, famous French grammarian
I live! - Roman Emperor, as he was being murdered by his own soldiers.
Dammit…Don’t you dare ask God to help me. - Joan Crawford to her housekeeper who began to pray aloud.
I am perplexed. Satan Get Out. - Aleister Crowley – famous occultist.
Now why did I do that? - General William Erskine, after he jumped from a window in Lisbon, Portugal in 1813.
 Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries’! - James French, a convicted murderer, was sentenced to the electric chair. He shouted these words to members of the press who were to witness his execution
Bugger Bognor. - King George V whose physician had suggested that he relax at his seaside palace in Bognor Regis.
It’s stopped. - Joseph Henry Green, upon checking his own pulse
LSD, 100 micrograms I.M. - Aldous Huxley (Author) to his wife. She obliged and he was injected twice before his death.
You have won, O Galilean. - Emperor Julian, having attempted to reverse the official endorsement of Christianity by the Roman Empire.
No, you certainly can’t. - John F. Kennedy in reply to Nellie Connally, wife of Governor John Connelly, commenting “You certainly can’t say that the people of Dallas haven’t given you a nice welcome, Mr. President.
I feel ill. Call the doctors. - Mao Zedong (Chairman of China)
Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here. - Nostradamus
Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you’re fooling around! - Carl Panzram, serial killer, shortly before he was executed by hanging.
Put out the bloody cigarette!! - Saki, to a fellow officer while in a trench during World War One, for fear the smoke would give away their positions. He was then shot by a German sniper who had heard the remark.
Please don’t let me fall. - Mary Surratt, before being hanged for her part in the conspiracy to assassinate President Lincoln. She was the first woman executed by the United States federal government.
Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies. - Voltaire when asked by a priest to renounce Satan.



No, but you forgot the best one
Either this wallpaper goes, or I do- Oscar Wilde, dying in an unfortunately papered hotel room

Oh my, Voltaire. I laughed at that one, too.

runandhideinanothermind:

revisitnormal:

ramirezbundydahmer:

Famous Last Words:

  • Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose. - Queen Marie Antoinette after she accidentally stepped on the foot of her executioner as she went to the guillotine.
  • I can’t sleep. - J. M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan
  • I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis. - Humphrey Bogart
  • I am about to — or I am going to — die: either expression is correct. - Dominique Bouhours, famous French grammarian
  • I live! - Roman Emperor, as he was being murdered by his own soldiers.
  • Dammit…Don’t you dare ask God to help me. - Joan Crawford to her housekeeper who began to pray aloud.
  • I am perplexed. Satan Get Out. - Aleister Crowley – famous occultist.
  • Now why did I do that? - General William Erskine, after he jumped from a window in Lisbon, Portugal in 1813.
  •  Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries’! - James French, a convicted murderer, was sentenced to the electric chair. He shouted these words to members of the press who were to witness his execution
  • Bugger Bognor. - King George V whose physician had suggested that he relax at his seaside palace in Bognor Regis.
  • It’s stopped. - Joseph Henry Green, upon checking his own pulse
  • LSD, 100 micrograms I.M. - Aldous Huxley (Author) to his wife. She obliged and he was injected twice before his death.
  • You have won, O Galilean. - Emperor Julian, having attempted to reverse the official endorsement of Christianity by the Roman Empire.
  • No, you certainly can’t. - John F. Kennedy in reply to Nellie Connally, wife of Governor John Connelly, commenting “You certainly can’t say that the people of Dallas haven’t given you a nice welcome, Mr. President.
  • I feel ill. Call the doctors. - Mao Zedong (Chairman of China)
  • Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here. - Nostradamus
  • Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you’re fooling around! - Carl Panzram, serial killer, shortly before he was executed by hanging.
  • Put out the bloody cigarette!! - Saki, to a fellow officer while in a trench during World War One, for fear the smoke would give away their positions. He was then shot by a German sniper who had heard the remark.
  • Please don’t let me fall. - Mary Surratt, before being hanged for her part in the conspiracy to assassinate President Lincoln. She was the first woman executed by the United States federal government.
  • Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies. - Voltaire when asked by a priest to renounce Satan.

No, but you forgot the best one

Either this wallpaper goes, or I do- Oscar Wilde, dying in an unfortunately papered hotel room

Oh my, Voltaire. I laughed at that one, too.

(via youngadultread)

May292013

wearealltrappedbyasinglularfate:

gallifreyburning:

Wait … did David Tennant just admit to writing Cyberman/Dalek fanfic when he was six years old?

Yes. Yes he did. That impossibly beautiful man.

(via hobbitofthemotherfuckinshire)

11PM

Good Parenting: Exhibit 1 (overheard at work today)

  • 6-year old: Mommy, why is that man dressed like a lady?
  • Mother: That is a lady. She was just born with the wrong body.
  • 6-year old: How did that happen?
  • Mother: Nobody really knows. But she's working to fix it, and that's what's important.
  • 6-year old: Okay! *runs up to obviously self-conscious woman*
  • 6-year old: Hey! Miss!
  • Lady: ...yes?
  • 6-year old: You look really pretty in your skirt!
  • Lady: Thank you!
  • *Kid skips back to her mom, and literally everyone in the vicinity smiles*
  • I'd just like to point out that it wasn't hard to explain this to a child at all...... Next excuse please?
11PM
pedro-martines:

iwishtoreportaburglary:

thefamilyphantom:

ihaveanarmy-wehaveatimelord:

karen-valentine:

chianina:

heyfunniest:


Someone get this guy a fucking medal.

They made birth control for men. However it never got past the clinical testing stage because its side effects were things like “moodiness, extreme cramping, hunger, increased sexual drive” and were considered INHUMANE.

what the fuck do they think women go through every goddamn month seriously

I’M SORRY MEN CAN’T HANDLE MENSTRATION

men are pussies

Men are not pussies because they can’t handle having one

Slowclappinginthedistance

pedro-martines:

iwishtoreportaburglary:

thefamilyphantom:

ihaveanarmy-wehaveatimelord:

karen-valentine:

chianina:

heyfunniest:

image

Someone get this guy a fucking medal.

They made birth control for men. However it never got past the clinical testing stage because its side effects were things like “moodiness, extreme cramping, hunger, increased sexual drive” and were considered INHUMANE.

what the fuck do they think women go through every goddamn month seriously

I’M SORRY MEN CAN’T HANDLE MENSTRATION

men are pussies

Men are not pussies because they can’t handle having one

Slowclappinginthedistance

(Source: tastefullyoffensive, via hobbitofthemotherfuckinshire)

10PM

thekingdomofben:

thekingdomofben:

A girl just told me that boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider and I had no come back. I just got owned by an 8 year old

She followed this up with ‘girls go to college to get more knowledge’ so this kid is clearly all about smashing the patriarchy through rhyme and I respect that

(Source: benchiladas, via hobbitofthemotherfuckinshire)

10PM
a-hoof-and-a-prayer:

jumper-bitch:

horsesornothing:

f0rever-a-dressage-queen:

how

Lemme take a moment and sit right here, to tell you how I became the prince of bel-air

^ roblogging solely for that comment

^ too good

a-hoof-and-a-prayer:

jumper-bitch:

horsesornothing:

f0rever-a-dressage-queen:

how

Lemme take a moment and sit right here, to tell you how I became the prince of bel-air

^ roblogging solely for that comment

^ too good

(Source: theboxingequestrian, via horsesfuckyeah)

10PM
dorkout:

kisslng:

there is nothing sexier than a man who knows what he wants

Damn

dorkout:

kisslng:

there is nothing sexier than a man who knows what he wants

Damn

(Source: justemanuell, via dustedoffanoldie)

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